


Tears

by liluglybean



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Break Up, Friendship, M/M, Other, Phan - Freeform, phan if you squint
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-07
Updated: 2016-12-07
Packaged: 2018-09-07 03:12:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,982
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8780866
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/liluglybean/pseuds/liluglybean
Summary: Phil moves out first. No one really expected it but they all knew it was going to happen sooner or later.
And yet, they still miss each other. They need each other.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfic so pardon my mistakes. Thank you!

Tears were shed when Phil left. It wasn't that they fought, it was just that they had drifted apart.   
  
“We need to meet new people, Dan. I think you know that too.”   
  
Dan stared at Phil, hoping what he heard was just a figment of his imagination but Phil never broke the silence and never looked back up. Suddenly, Dan found it hard to breathe.

“But... we're best friends...”   
  
Phil looked at Dan with sad eyes. “Are we, really?”   
  
After two weeks of finding a new apartment for Phil, he was gone. All his things were gone and so were his houseplants- save for a small one that Phil gave him.   
  
It felt cold without Phil. The apartment just seemed to lifeless without the actual ray of sunshine that entered Dan’s life. A tear slid down Dan's cheek and soon enough, he was sobbing.   
  
Phil was his best friend for seven years. They were just about to celebrate their eighth one next week.

The thought of their anniversary broke Dan completely and he felt his heart ache. They nay say they were still friends but it wasn't the same... they wouldn't be celebrating it anymore. It would be a normal day to them.  
  
After the last of his tears slipped down from his chin and a couple of deep breaths, he decided he was moving out too.   


* * *

  
  
To be honest, Phil wasn't doing really well.   
  
Sure, he has a nice house in Brighton but it was empty and it lacked laughter. He missed Dan.   
  
But they just didn't get a long that much anymore. Their conversations were dry and it felt awkward to be with him sometimes. Things had changed for them.   
  
Opening his laptop, Phil looked through his his youtube account. After the whole breakup was announced, many of his subscribers left him. It was a slap to his face that they just left but those who remained made him smile. Besides, after making new videos, his subscribers count quickly went up; he was almost as popular as Dan.   
  
The videos was similar to what he had done before but he changed his branding- just a bit. He was still bright and energetic and there was no swearing in his channel but he was a lot more open with his emotions.   
  
If he felt sad, he wouldn't smile. If he was angry, he would frown a bit. If he felt sick and tired of the world, he openly voiced his opinions about it.   
  
He clicked on his latest video and scrolled through the comments, curious on what his viewers had to say.   
  
It was a vlog about his trip to London; it had been a long time since he visited the city and he'd gone to the many shops and stores that he couldn't find in Brighton. In the middle of the video, Phil passed by the old flat he used to share with Dan.   
  
“Oh look! It's the old London flat!” Phil had exclaimed as he pointed his phones' camera at the flat. “I don't know who owns the new flat but I heard she's a youtuber as well!”   
  
The first comment was unsurprisingly some fan saying, “ _ IM CRYING THE LONDON FLAT I MISS THAT FLAT SO MUCH _ ”   
  
The next comment however, was much more interesting.   
  
_ Hey Phil! Did you know Dan also walked by the flat a few days ago? He uploaded a video! But maybe you already know :) _   
  
Interest piqued, Phil typed his old friends' channels' name: danisnotonfire. Sure enough, there was a new video that was just a day old.   
  
Clicking the thumbnail, he waited for the video to finish loading and was greeted with Dan fumbling with his camera phone.   
  
“Okay so, um- hello internet! Today, I'm going out to the outside as you can see from my clothes! Let's see what books I'll be getting today,” the smile on Dan's face made Phil's heart melt a bit. He hadn't seen him in a while.   
  
They kept contact for the first three months but it got harder and harder to see each other with conflicting schedules. They didn't even had time to do the occasional video call. Soon, they only sent messages on holidays and on their birthdays.   
  
Dan was walking in the park now. “I'm quite excited really. If they don't have the titles I've been wanting to read,” Dan threw his hand up. “I don't know. I will hunt those books down.”   
  
A quiet moment passed and suddenly Dan was talking quietly.   
  
“Phil and I used to walk here. I haven't called him in a while,” Phil's chest suddenly constricted. “I should call him- I will. Soon.”   
  
Pausing the video, Phil scrolled down to the comments and of course, it was full of fans "screaming" and "crying.”   
  
Glancing at his phone, Phil wished Dan's name was flashing on the screen but the screen was blank.   
  
Phil would've called Dan but he needed to answer a bunch of emails and call several people including his own family. He would answer Dan's call if he ever called though.   
  
A week passed and the call never came. Phil didn't mind. Dan was probably busy as well.   


* * *

  
  
It was November.   
  
They had plans to do PINOF again when it came up during one of their extremely rare video calls. Dan was hugging a pillow and Phil was wrapping a blanket around his body as they talked about the past, reminiscing on the good memories they had.

When PINOF was brought up, Dan felt his heart jump. PINOF was a horrifying experience that they both enjoyed. It was only October back then and Dan quietly said that they should do it again.

“... We should.”   
  
But when they met up to talk about it- how they would announce the tag once more, things didn’t go as planned.   
  
“Why did we move out?”   
  
Dan looked up at Phil and shrugged. “It wasn't really working out, remember?” He said. “We just... drifted apart.”   
  
“But why?” Phil persisted.   
  
“We stopped talking.” Dan said quietly. “We didn't have time for each other- you didn't have time for me.”   
  
It was an accident really but Dan had already said it. There was no way of taking it back anymore.   
  
Hurt flashed across Phil's eyes. “I didn't give time for you? You hardly had time for me either!” He said.   
  
“I don't know! I was busy replying to emails-”   
  
“You could've had done them earlier! You always procrastinated!” Phil pointed out.   
  
“You did too! You always went out!”   
  
The fight had escalated from there and it had ended with Dan riding a cab back to his house, furious and humiliated. Dark thoughts plagued his mind but when he woke up in the morning, guilty ones replaced those thoughts.   
  
Now there he was, itching to take his phone, dial Phil's number and call him. So he did.   
  
Unfortunately, Phil didn't answer.   
  
Not the next hour.   
  
Not the next day.   
  
Not even the next week.   
  
So, Dan did the next best thing he thought he could do to communicate with Phil.   
  
He made a video.   


* * *

  
  
When Phil woke up, he wasn't expecting a gazillion notifications from twitter, tumblr, facebook, youtube and instagram.   
  
The majority of them were screaming his name and Dan's- which he found weird. Their fans had started to respect them hardly brought up those days. It had nearly been three years since they moved out and after a year, hardly anyone mentioned it.   
  
But there he was, reading their names being mentioned by many. Youtube links also littered his mentions. After scrolling through a few of the links, he realised they were all the same. Opening the link in a new tab, he realised that it was a video made by Dan entitled "Phil."   
  
Dan was sat on a chair, looking away from the camera with shiny eyes.   
  
“Umm, hey Phil,” Dan drew a long deep breath. “It's been a long time since we spoke. I'm sorry.”   
  
Pausing the video, Phil looked away from the screen. He knew he was ignoring Dan ever since their “little” fight but he figured Dan would move on eventually. He even unfollowed him everywhere.   
  
A wave of guilt washed along Phill, realising that Dan gave the time and effort to make the video. As he played the video again, he took a deep breath and watched.   
  
“I know we parted ways years ago but I still miss you. I guess it's my fault too.   
  
“When you said that you were moving out, I didn't do anything. I just nodded my head. I didn't try to stop you or talk with you- I just said yes,” Dan looked away from the camera. “I really regret that.   
  
“We were supposed to celebrate our eighth year of friendship but we didn't. We were supposed to celebrate our eleventh one last month.   
  
“I miss our conversations and walks at the park. I miss our daily morning routine where we fight about the cereal and watch anime. I miss... I miss everything.   
  
“I miss you Phil. I didn't have the guts to call you before but I tried but you didn't answer! I messaged you but no reply. I would've done this in private but...” a nervous smile appeared on Dan's lips. “Well, I think you know why. But it's okay. I don't mind.”   
  
Only then did Phil remembered he also blocked Dan. Whoops.   
  
“I'm not saying that we should move back in together again but I would like us to be friends again. I want to visit you in your house and see how well your houseplants are going. Did you know I have a dog now?” Phil did not.   
  
In the video, Dan stood up and walked away and in a few seconds, he returned with a small shibe in his arms.   
  
“He's new so I don't have a name for him yet; he's no name at the moment,” Dan said, holding the paws of the dog. “If you ever decide to drop by, you can pet him.”   
  
A beat passed.   
  
“Maybe you could help me name him too?”   
  
With a hopeful smile, Dan ended the video and left Phil with a few tears on his cheeks.

* * *

  
“Dan? Have you seen No Name?”   
  
For a second, Dan thought about it and shrugged. “No idea. Probably just in the house,” He replied.   
  
Shuffling off the bed, Phil tripped and fell on the floor as Dan laughed.   
  
“What the hell, Phil?” Dan asked.   
  
But Phil didn't reply and dashed out of the room as soon as he got on his feet. Dan looked at the camera and shrugged.   
  
“What's Phil done now? I guessing No Name probably tracked the carpet with mud again.”   
  
Suddenly, Phil was back with No Name in his arms, smiling.   
  
“I'm back with No Name everyone!” He announced, sitting on the bed again. “I figured that No Name should be a part of this year's PINOF since he's been part of the family for two years now- right No Name?”   
  
Dan couldn't help but smile at Phil, enthusiastically holding the Shibe in his arms. He would have to take a screenshot of the video later to see how great Phil looked.   
  
“So, it's PINOF Nine guys! The first one since the London flat,” Dan said, looking at the camera. “We weren't able to do it last year since we were busy moving in here in our wonderful home.”   
  
“Yep! Dan and I were so happy when we realised we could get more dogs,” Phil winked at the camera. “Which brings us to question number one! Dan, if you bark at No Name, will he bark back at you?”   
  
Thirty minutes went by, just Dan having fun with Phil and No Name and he loved it. As the video came to a close, Dan nudged Phil with his arm.   
  
“I missed this,” he said.   
  
Dan saw Phil smile. “I did too.”


End file.
